Quitting Smoking Again – Week 16: Am I There Yet?

Posted on February 15, 2008
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Just a brief update for those following along with me on this stopping smoking journey. It’s been 4 months without a cigarette and I remain certain I’ll continue to be a non-smoker. I can honestly say that not only don’t I want to smoke, but I no longer feel the need.

Surprising perhaps, at least to me, is I haven’t used this space to vent during the process, but I can’t say there have been any really, really bad days. There have been a few that were very hard, but nowhere near insurmountable. Change of venue often helped – i.e. I would just do something other than whatever I happened to be doing at the time.

quit smoking journey No doubt success in quitting this time is partly due to the learning experiences of all my previous failures. One of the classic ruses a smoker will use to give themselves permission to start smoking again, is to get someone to tell them to. That way they don’t “fail” at quitting.

Lots of times smokers don’t even realize they’re doing this. The way it works is we (the one trying to quit smoking), being a bit edgy or anxious anyway, start getting short with people, begin provoking arguments, and finally become confrontational over something silly.

That process will eventually get all the participants worked up into a good “mad” generating all sorts of emotional and verbal hostility. With that combination of short tempers, and frayed nerves, sooner or later someone will say something along the lines of, “I liked you better when you were smoking, I wish you’d go have a cigarette”.

Bingo! We’ve been forced into smoking again, because even quitting smoking isn’t worth the price of damaged relationships. This is especially true when it’s friends and family were sparring with.

The rationale taking place in the mind of the smoker is that they didn’t give in, but rather circumstances conspired against him or her and for the “good” of all concerned, they had to smoke.

Things like this no doubt sound absurd to anyone who hasn’t tried to quit, or been close to someone who has. But it’s a real trap the “quitting” smoker can fall into, and just one of a zillion reasons folks who desperately want to stop smoking will fail. continue reading….

Quitting Smoking Again – Week 10: A New Year

Posted on January 3, 2008
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What’s really cool at this new year is I’ve now got about 10 weeks – 2 ½ months worth of success behind my goal of being a non-smoker by 2008. I can’t say my New Years resolution was to quit smoking, but having blown that resolution so many times before, I’m definitely feeling good at having finally succeeded.

I’m also feeling really good physically. My energy level is way higher, and the chest pains and tightness seem to be a thing of the past. It’s been at least a month since I felt any.

quit smoking At this point I’ve got every expectation of remaining a non-smoker for life. That may sound over-confident after just 10 weeks, but another significant milestone is that I really don’t think about “not smoking” that much anymore.

Oh sure once in a while, but mostly not. And yes I will on occasion be edgy or even irritable, but those times are fewer and less pronounced. Again, my family has been great and most supportive. They’ve figured out what “irrational irritability” looks like and pretty much just ignore me when it happens.

And that’s a good thing – actually the best thing to do with anyone quitting smoking is to be outwardly supportive, but mostly ignore them. When I first quit, these times would happen maybe every other day on average, and now it’s like every other week. They’re always short-lived, and nothing serious, just weird.

On a more philosophical note, I’ve started to wonder if smokers are really just closet grouches who’ve hidden the fact by staying sedated with nicotine. Having smoked since my teens, it’s near impossible to know what’s normal, but I suspect maybe I’ve always been grouchy, and never really knew just how much.

Of course everyone appears grouchy when they quit smoking, it’s a well-documented fact. But suppose that all us smokers are really just curmudgeons who’ve been sedated all this time. Now when we quit, the world will see the real us.

Hmmm….

Next quit smoking post: Week 16
Previous quit smoking post: Week 6

Quitting Smoking Again – Week 6: Getting Cocky

Posted on December 7, 2007
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The interesting thing now is that I really don’t think about “not smoking” all that much. In fact somewhere around a month in I noticed that smoking isn’t all consuming anymore. I don’t mean quitting has been agonizing or hard, in fact quite the contrary.

One of the things I did was change focus from that of previous attempts. It’s hard to just “quit” anything because quitting leaves a void. It’s easier to “do” something. So instead of “quitting smoking” I reverse the thinking into positive things, like “I’m going to get healthier”, or “saving money”, or even better, “I’m going to breathe deeply again”.

By the way, this was one of the areas covered in the book I mentioned before - The Easy Way to Stop Smoking by Allen Carr. Again I have to admit to being skeptical when first seeing it, but having actually made it for 6 weeks thus far, I feel pretty good about recommending it to anyone really wanting some help in quitting.

It’s one of the best stop smoking resources I’ve seen because it teaches that quitting successfully starts and finishes in the mind. The physical part of smoking, including the addiction to nicotine is not where the real difficulty lies in quitting.

I titled this post “getting cocky” because I’m sort of at that point where I’m confident I won’t start smoking again. But as I said before, I’ve quit many times, and one thing that happens is all of a sudden you realize, hey, I did it! At that point is the very real danger of over-confidence.

You either make the mistake of thinking one smoke won’t hurt, or you think that having quit this time, it will be easy enough to do again. Having done both these, I can attest, it’s dangerous thinking. Cigarette smoking is basically drug addiction, and it will absolutely hook you again.

So although I’m feeling cocky, I also know the experience of playing with fire and getting burned every time. Having “been there, done that, got the t-shirt”, I’ll pass.

I’m also feeling a lot better, energy is coming back, and because I’ve got a lot of damage to undo, I’m staying focused. I actually felt a whole lot better after the first couple days being quit, and improvements seem to come in spurts.

Shortness of breath is the big thing. It’s not as pronounced, and I can overcome it even during exercise, but from talking with other long-time ex-smokers, I suspect it could take as much as a year to get to where I no longer ever notice any difficultly breathing.

Next quit smoking post: Week 10
Previous quit smoking post: Day 20

Quitting Smoking Again – Day 20: Making Money

Posted on November 15, 2007
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Pushing right up against the big 3 week hurdle – it happens tomorrow. According to many stop smoking programs, reaching this point is significant for all sorts of reasons. It’s like if you make it this far, there’s no turning back.

For me, it’s like every day is a milestone. For sure that’s the case during early days. Recalling past attempts, I can remember milestones at the 1, 3, 5, 7, 10, 14, 21, and 30 day, plus the 2, 3, and 6 month points.

The reality is that each day builds on the last, and what seems to happen is confidence increases each day. It’s sort of a double whammy, where in addition to gaining a days confidence, there’s also another days distance from that last smoke which associates a greater sense of failure with the idea of giving in.

stop smoking Something I reminded myself of again was the money-saving aspect of quitting. With the ever-increasing “sin” taxes assessed on things like cigarettes, it’s getting considerably more expensive to indulge the habit.

At an average of a pack a day, at approximately $4 per pack, I was spending around $1460 per year for the privilege of killing myself. Well now that $1460 is “found” money. It’s like getting a pay raise because at the end of the day, it’s not how much you make, but how much you keep.

The icing on the cake is I will not smoke 7,300 cigarettes next year, and the year after that, and the year after that, and the year after that, and…..

Something not so fun to calculate was that during my lifetime, I’ve already smoked nearly 300,000 cigarettes. And I did it one cigarette at a time.

For me, a big part of quitting is reversing that – by not smoking one at a time. Every day I don’t smoke, I don’t smoke about 20 cigarettes.

If you read my first post about this quit smoking journey, you’ll note that the success I’m having so far, immediately followed a failed attempt 2 weeks earlier that lasted only a day and a half.

But for anyone trying to quit this habit, any start is a good start. The only way to fail for sure is to stop trying. The silver lining of those two weeks is that I smoked significantly less.

I actually tracked it by day during the first week and though I ended up back at a pack a day by week 2, I stayed between a quarter, to a half pack during week one.

In fact, instead of smoking 140 cigarettes during that week, I smoked about 50, which means I didn’t smoke 90. That’s 4 ½ packs, or to put a financial spin on it, a rough savings of $18.

That may not sound like much, but that “failed” attempt curtailed the habit by almost two-thirds. I keep reminding myself, I didn’t smoke 300,000 cigarettes all at once, but one at a time.

Next quit smoking post: Week 6
Previous quit smoking post: Day 6

Quitting Smoking Again – Day 6: On my own

Posted on November 1, 2007
Filed Under Faith, Healthy Living, Quit Smoking | 1 Comment

Okay it’s almost been a week. I can’t say I don’t think about having a smoke, because truth is I think of it a lot. But I believe that’s because its been such an ingrained part of life for so long, that it’s going to take quite some time before it starts receding in conscious thought.

However, it’s interesting that even though I think a lot about smoking, I don’t feel driven to fall off the wagon. Days 3 and 4 were the hardest so far – nothing insurmountable, but did feel a pang or two that a smoke sure would’ve cured fast.

quit smoking There’s been a few times where I found it useful to pull out the book again and re-read certain parts. Have to admit that changing your thinking makes a significant difference. Smoking really is a weird kind of addiction where it’s the mental, not the physical that turns out to be where the battle plays out.

By the way, for those who may be interested, I’m not using any “stop smoking aids”, but it seemed to only make sense to get as much going for me as possible. Since it worked so well that one time in the past, I have definitely kept praying for any divine help along the way.

It’s sort of funny, but this time I get the sense I’m on my own in that regard. What I mean is it’s like the good Lord’s saying “I made it too easy that time – you successfully quit, but chose to start again”. Must admit He’s right. This time I get the sense He’s there and supportive, but I’ve got to do the work.

Admittedly, there’s a lot of truth to the saying that “we often don’t appreciate what comes too easy”.

Next goal is the 3 week mark – that’s supposed to be a significant one.

Next quit smoking post: Day 20
Previous quit smoking post: Day 1

Quitting Smoking Again – Day 1: Will it take this time?

Posted on October 26, 2007
Filed Under Healthy Living, Quit Smoking | 1 Comment

Yes, again! The last time was 2 weeks ago, and it lasted a whole day and a half.

But here we go once more – cold turkey. For the record, this pack+ a day habit has spanned well over 35 years, and I’ve actually “quit” many times – once for about a year.

Decided I’d do the odd post about the journey, partially to keep me honest, perhaps to vent from time to time, and maybe so other smokers might be inspired to give quitting another try.

Smoking

I’m not using any “stop smoking aids” this time. I’ve tried most everything on past attempts including patches, gum, that Wellbutrin drug, sunflower seeds, plastic stir sticks, positive thinking, and even prayer. I’ve had success with all of them too.

In fact many years ago, had significant success with a combination of patches and prayer. The praying worked so good, I stopped the patches after a couple days and never thought about smoking again – stayed quit for over six months – PTL! But one day I just felt like starting again, and it was downhill from there.

Yep, that was pretty dumb, but I’ve read that many smokers actually beat the habit, then start again. Maybe it’s some subconscious thinking that having quit once, we can do so anytime – wrong!

So why quit now? Mainly because I’m starting to feel the accumulated effects more significantly. Things like serious loss of energy, shortness of breath, and chest pain/tightness, have a way of getting ones attention. Finally decided I’m too young to feel this bad, and I’ve likely gambled with smoking for too long already.

The one new thing I did this time, is take a look at a book my wife got me called “The Easy Way To Stop Smoking”.

Now if you’re a smoker, your initial reaction to that title was probably like mine – something along the lines of a very skeptical “yeah right”.

But I eventually thumbed through it and the fact that the author, a guy named Allen Carr, said he quit a five pack a day habit, cold turkey, without any withdrawal, got my interest. Said he never wanted another cigarette – and he’s been quit over 20 years now.

Well that was fairly compelling, and I ended up reading the book through twice. It’s a good read and had a different focus than most other approaches to quitting tobacco. It explained that smoking is basically nicotine addiction, but then went on past that to teach how quitting successfully starts in the mind, because it was the mind that actually got us hooked.

So anyway, I’ve once more quit smoking. My last cigarette was about 14 hours ago, last night before bed – actually the wee hours this morning.

So how do I feel? Well, perhaps a little anxious, but having gone all morning and then some without a cigarette, that’s not too bad.

Of course this first day is no doubt helped by the “smoke your brains out” approach I used last night. That’s where you sit down and chain smoke until you can hardly breathe, then go to bed. The idea is to make ones last memory of smoking an unpleasant one.

So today I’m just happy I can still breathe, and quite frankly, don’t want a cigarette right now. Will keep you posted on the saga.

Next quit smoking post: Day 6

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