Finding Anger Management Skills

Posted on September 7, 2008
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It is not fair to other people in your life if you can not effectively manage anger. They do not deserve to be yelled at, or screamed at, nor do they deserve to be abused in any way simply because you do not have effective anger management abilities. There is hope though. You can beat your anger by taking classes designed to help you regain control of your life and stop unnecessary emotional outbursts in its tracks. Once you understand the basics, you can learn how to control your anger.

Anger aggression can happen for various reasons. In children it often manifests itself after or during an emotional trauma such as the loss of a parent or parents divorcing.

In adults one of the most common reason is a general irritation at some other situation that may be out of your control. Take for example a problem at work. You may be holding back from showing your feelings toward a frustrating co-worker or a boss. You bury the anger until a time comes when you take it out on someone else. How many times have you honked your horn or cursed at a fellow driver for a mistake made while driving? That one poor soul becomes the epitome of all the things wrong in your life. Or it may be teen anger that has you frustrated. You do not know how to deal with your child during one of his or her outbursts so you take it out on your spouse.

Anger management is vital to your health. Let us ignore the obvious risks of someone responding back to your aggression with violence of their own. There have been many cases of road rage escalating to the point where a gun is produced. You do not want this to happen to you. But there are other risks to your health. The adrenaline may cause you to spiral out of control and it will affect your blood pressure. This high blood pressure, if occurring on a regular basis, can lead to a stroke or a heart attack.

Anger management depends entirely on your ability to seek out help and be willing to follow the advice of the counselors or therapists. With the right attitude and a willingness to address underlying problems, you can find the help you need to control your anger. Do not let your anger affect your life and ruin great relationships. Maybe there are issues you need help with by medication. Whatever the underlying problems are, help is available, so reach out and take it.

Changing Lifelong Habits To Improve Your Personal Life

Posted on August 20, 2008
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Habits, oh those nasty habits. Habits are developed from training, influences, observation, and practice. We develop many habits throughout our life. Some are good and others are bad. Good habits we can keep, but if you want to improve your life the bad habits have to go. Eradicating bad habits however is not easy, especially if an addiction is involved. For this reason, we can take a few steps to learning how you can change your habits.

Making excuses:
People wander through life making excuses. Anytime a person sees something complicated, they will often make excuses why they cannot deal with the problem. “This is just the way I am.” This is a common problem in the world, which we’ve all heard billions of times. If you are out to improve your life however, you need to say, “This is something that hinders me from achievement and I have the power to change it”.

The first key to success is stop making excuses. Learn how to tell the truth. The truth is the only answer that leads you to improve your personal life. Once you learn to tell the truth, you will need to commit yourself to learning new behaviors and habits.

You can commit by picking a new habit. Today I plan be organized around the home. Stop saying I’m naturally untidy. Take action today
declutter home declutter my house Organize storage space

Today I am going to stop judging others and myself. This is a common mistake people make in the world. They spend time judging others and themselves. This gets them nowhere but in a world of chaos. You make your bed, you must learn to sleep in it, which is why you should change your ways. Judging is only for our Master in the sky.

Do you think negative? I can’t change this. My life is full of nonsense, I can’t swing it anymore. Why me? Who put a tag on my head, saying persecute me. If you spend your life thinking negative and saying negative connotations, try changing your ways today. For instance, say, I can change something and I am going to. Instead of saying life is full of nonsense, accept it as truth yet move ahead to make your life better. Why me is a common question, which no one knows why, yet we have to accept it, make better decisions and move ahead. If you feel persecuted, ask you what you are doing that makes you feel this way. Do you have friends or family members weighing you down? If so, then kick their butt down the road and make new friends. No one in life is worth you suffering ongoing. You have the power to make changes, yet you do not have the power to change other people.

When you start to make changes to improve your life, start small. Instead of jumping the gun, take baby steps to success. Too many times people try to change overnight. This only leads to frustration.

Self Improvement Books: Winning Self Help Tips & Hints

Posted on July 11, 2008
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You have got to motivate yourself in order to motivate others. If you do not know how, then it is time to browse through some self improvement books on how to go about it.

Read some self improvement books…Here are a few suggestions to get you started:

1. 21 Indispensable Qualities of Leadership: Becoming the Leader Others Will Follow John C. Maxwell
Why do some people consistently inspire others to follow their lead? In this self improvement book, the author identifies these top traits as charisma, character, commitment, communication, competence, courage, discernment, focus, generosity, initiative, listening, passion, positive attitude, problem-solving, relationships, responsibility, security, self-discipline, servanthood, teachability, and vision.

Maxwell breaks down leadership qualities into easy to understand character qualities. Character is what defines a leader, and these traits are what people of character have. A must-read for leaders in any position.

2. Discover Your Strengths – Marcus Buckingham
The self improvement book that helps you find what you are strong in and encourages you to work to make those stronger. That instead of working against what you know you’re good at. You can also take the personal survey that is in the book.

3. Five Patterns of Extraordinary Careers – Spencer Stuart
A remarkable book about how to stand out from your peers and have a better career. One lesson learned: It is better to ask for forgiveness after the fact than it is to ask for permission ahead of time.

4. Who Moved My Cheese? – Spencer Johnson
Of course, what book list would be complete without this self improvement book that is all about change. Another book that is well worth the listen, but also worth reading.

5. 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Steven Covey
Another must have in your self improvement book collection. If you like to read a lot of books, you are practicing one of Covey’s habits, “sharpening the saw.”

6. How to Think Like Leonardo da Vinci Discover Your Genius: How to Think Like History’s Ten Most Revolutionary Minds – Michael Gelb

This self improvement book helps you to think more creatively and be more artistic. These factors are important no matter what position you may be in.

7. The Brand You 50 Re-imagine Pursuit of Wow! Tom Peters

A motivational book urging readers to achieve more.

8. What Should I Do With My Life? Po Bronson

A self improvement book that tells us that it is okay not to know what you want to do. That even the people we think are completely happy may not be. And that we make our own happiness, it all depends on how you deal with it.

9. Rhinoceros Success Scott Alexander

This was recommended to me by my last manager. An incredibly quick read. The book is all about leading, and how sometimes you have to do the unpopular to make a difference and stand out as a leader. Be a rhino!

10. Advanced Rhinocerology Scott Alexander

A nice sequel to Rhinocerous Success that you will also enjoy. A few things it reminded me of is that leaders are often under attack from all sides, and it’s important to watch your own back because often nobody else will.

These are just some of the more popular self improvement books you can check out whenever you want answers to questions you have been keeping inside for too long.

NLP Comprehensive – The Facts

Posted on July 6, 2008
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It has been said that the mind is a powerful thing – “Mind over matter” as they usually say. A lot of people have claimed that “The mind has the ability to heal all kinds of sickness as long as you think of it”; NLP Comprehensive

There have been documented accounts that cancer patients have been healed through positive thinking.

If only there would be a system that can observe, somehow measure, and incorporate to other sick people the way these “positive thinkers” think, then the field of health care will have another tool to aid it in its objectives. Fortunately, a system has been developed – Neuro Linguistic Programming.

Why: NLP

Neuro Linguistic Programming or NLP is a system developed in the late 70s by Richard Bander and John Grinder. The main concept of NLP is that a person’s outlook in life can create great changes. A positive outlook can result to good changes and negative outlook can create, well, negative changes. In NLP, it is believed that language and behaviors are highly structured and these structures can be modeled. The model then can be incorporated to a person hopefully to improve his or her way of thinking.

Focus On Your Mental And Emotional Side: Winning Self Improvement Tips

Posted on June 8, 2008
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Not everyone believes this but the emotional and mental aspects of a person, when combined, leads to better self improvement.

Emotions love to dominate our actions and reactions, even when we do not want it to happen sometimes. Society often see emotions as a sign of weakness, so people are used to putting them aside and focusing on the rational aspects more and more.

No matter how strict and logical you may be, you will always feel. One way or another, someone or something will get through you.

Positive emotions are a lifelong goal for many of us concerned about emotional health and self improvement. What is more important; the amount of money you made during your life or the times you laughed out of sheer joy?

People tend to put their positive emotions behind their negative feelings. This is one of the biggest problems that people come across during their lives.

There is no clear way to ignore a negative experience and try to replace it with a positive one. Life just does not work that way.

A fight with your spouse the night before will affect your entire day. You will go to work angry, tired, and your mind will wander. On the way home from work you will be oblivious the sun shining vegetables.

All this because that one negative thought has contaminated the way you perceive the reality around you.

In this moment you will realize finding a safe place to relax your mind will do wonders for your emotional and mental improvement.

That place is relatively easy to find. It can be an actual place or an imaginary location. The best idea is to totally lose yourself in it.

Let us say you have a problem on your mind and it just would not go away. Go bowling. Do not know how? Just give it a shot. Get caught up in the game. Your mind will drift away from the negative thoughts that dominated your last hours or days and start processing a whole new kind of information.

A safe haven can take many forms. It can be a song, a movie, even a person or animal. The main thing is allow yourself to get completely involved with this new activity.

You might still get flashes of the problem every now and then. Ignore it and get even more absorbed in what you are doing.

When the bowling game, the song, or the movie ends you will abruptly return to reality. You will probably want to retreat back to the safe place. Do not do it.

The safe place exists only as a helping hand, not as a solution to your life’s problems, may it be a small or big. It serves only as an escape route.

You will return from your safe zone with an increased energy level. You will feel better about yourself and gain more confidence. You will see that any issue can be resolved.

This is how a small escape from a harsh reality can increase your emotional and mental health. Try to do this often and you are on your way to better self improvement.
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Scrapbooking Projects For Healing

Posted on June 6, 2008
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When we plan our scrapbooking, often times we think of pages that focus on weddings, births, holidays and special events in our lives that we want to preserve. These are days that bring smiles to our faces and laughter to our hearts. As natural as this may be to select such occasions for our scrapbooking ideas, sometimes we miss out on an opportunity to use our creative outlet to express our thoughts and feelings about those unpleasant moments in our lives that are inevitable.

When we stop and think about the pain we have suffered, whether through the breakup of a marriage or any other traumatic event, these are all part of what shapes us into the people we have become. So often we choose to disguise our problems instead of embracing them to search for the hidden treasures that are often overlooked.

Suddenly after the birth of my daughter, I was diagnosed with severe post-partum depression. My difficult marriage that was filled with chaos was coming to an end. The situations that led me to the place of complete despair were overwhelming at best. As part of my recovery, I began to record my thoughts and feelings about each event that happened. What began as an struggle to sort through the pain, evolved into a full visual display of raw emotion and the spiritual journey that accompanied my experiences. Although not your typical scrapbooking theme, it is one that played a considerable role for me in finding peace and healing.

Compiling it all together with photographs, carefully selected scrapbook paper and just the right stamping and embellishments gave each painful recollection a sense of validation. It was like lifting a mirror up to my wounded heart and saying, ‘Yes, that is what I felt. Right or wrong, good or bad. These emotions are mine.’ To be able to openly express myself this way and to have a visual reminder has made it easier to let go of the pain, forgive and move toward healing.

My scrapbook album, titled ‘A Journey Through Life’s Challenges’ does not sit on my coffee table out on display. Instead, it rests on the shelf in my office, waiting for moments, sometimes through tears, when I need a reminder of where I’ve been to truly appreciate where I am today.

The Mayonnaise Jar and Two Cups of Coffee

Posted on November 23, 2007
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I can’t remember where I first read this story, but as we’re at that time of year for being thankful, and fast approaching Christmas with its own reminders to stop and smell the roses, I thought it would be a good time to post this….

When things in your lives seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous “yes.”

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

“Now,” said the professor as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things–your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions–and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else–the small stuff. “If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

“Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first–the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. “I’m glad you asked.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.” continue reading….